Friday 30 August 2019

Requiem For A Videography Business

Bob, the Best Man at the wedding I covered last weekend, looked into my camera and said, with tears in his eyes, "This is the most beautiful wedding I've ever seen. Such a sweet, sweet couple. I wish them the best and hope they stay together forever." I would have believed him too, if he wasn't wearing a cock-eyed jock strap on his head. Or if he hadn't taken a swing at the groom earlier in the reception, right after downing a half a fifth of Wild Turkey in one long gulp and then professing his eternal lust for his best friend's new bride.

What a wedding. After 20 plus years of covering weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, and other such time slaughtering celebrations for my small video business, I must say, this wedding, what I now call the Smith-Davis fiasco of 2013, was the most interesting catastrophe I ever covered. I've seen people die during receptions, usually due to heart attacks, but I choose to believe from boredom. I've seen wives run away at the altar, bridegrooms run away at the altar, even, once, a Pastor run away at the altar (apparently a mob affiliated parishioner had showed up to collect some overdue gambling debts, knowing where and when he could find the good Father), but this wedding reception took the cake. And threw it across the room during a food fight that would have made Jerry Springer blush. To say that these people had no class would infer that no class was as low as you could go. After last weekend, I am here to tell you, there is a lower classification. The clans of Mr. Smith and nee Ms. Davis belong to a status I now refer to as the 'Holy Crap, who rented those people formal wear' class.

Reviewing the video, there's no way I can make this look good. I think I might edit it in spoof fashion or in a style reminiscent of a bad horror film, as if Hitchcock filmed Attack of the Killer Tomatoes or Plan 9 From Outer Space instead of Psycho, perhaps. There's just not much you can do with this footage.

How can you make a ninety-year-old grandmother smoking a cigarette with a hole in her neck, who says "My granddaughter looks fat in that dress, he must have already knocked her up... " through a talking box look romantic?

I personally like the footage of the little Smith kid, all of 6 years old maybe, dropping his cup of punch (spiked probably) on the floor over and over again so he could look up the dresses of every woman in the hall. Nothin' spells luvin' like a youthful peeping tom, trying to get a glimpse of his kin's underwear. That kid has IRS agent as a profession written all over his future.

Here are a few gems from the edited footage I have assembled so far, and these are the high points:

FADE INTO A LARGE RECEPTION HALL, LOOKING AS THOUGH IT HAS BEEN INVADED AND OCCUPIED BY CALIGULA'S INBRED COUSINS:

The maids of (dis)honor sitting at their table, eating the catered food as though this was their first meal after being locked away in a year-long Weight Watcher's diet concentration camp. They would look pretty, too, in their beautiful matching calico (and neon) wedding attire, were it not for fleshy pieces of salmon and Jack Daniels spittle leaking from their jowls:

"This is some high-class weddin'," said Maid Number 1, 'they even have cloth napkins on the table folded into cute little hats."

"Hrmmphhglarg... " said Maid Number 2, as she gnawed, caveman style, on a whole rack of lamb.

"What is this orange stuff?" Maid Number 3 asked as she shoved a forkful of it into her mouth. "It tastes kind of funny."

"They called it salmon." Maid Number 1 replied, taking another long pull of her Jack and Coke.

"Whazzat?" Maid Number 3 asked again.

"Hrmmphhglarg... it's fish, stupid." Maid Number 2 managed between ravenous bites of meat.

Maid Number 3 then deposited all of the salmon, and everything else in her stomach, all over the table. "Ewwwwww... " she added, straightening her hair and wiping traces of her insides from her mouth, "I hate fish, no wonder it tastes funny."

CUT TO:

The Bride's family, sitting quietly at their table:

Me: "Well, sir, what do you think of your daughter's magical day so far?"

Father: "It's frigging expensive, and getting more expensive by the bottle."

The Bride's father takes a puff of his cigarette and a long drink from his 32 OZ Budweiser tall boy. The Bride's Mother hides her eyes in her hands and stares down at the table, moaning. The Bride's teenaged Sister, clearly aggravated, punches her Father in the arm.

Sister: "Dad, hush now."

Father: "Shut up girl, you won't never fetch no man with them kind of manners. You ain't pretty or easy like your sister there."

Sister: "I swear, I HATE YOU."

Father: "Be quiet and eat that expensive scrapple on your plate. I'm paying for it whether you eat it or not, might as well not waste it."

Sister: "Oh gawdddd, it's pate you drunk old hick."

CUT TO:

The Bride and Groom are taking their first dance as a newlywed couple to the loving sounds of "Your Mama Don't Dance And Your Daddy Don't Rock And Roll" By Loggins and Messina. The Best Man staggers up and takes a swing at the groom, knocking him down.

Best Man: "I love her more-n' you ever will."

The Bride hikes up her dress and kicks the Best Man squarely in the groin. The Best man folds up like a tri-fold menu from a cheap Chinese take-out restaurant and crumples to the floor. A 20 minute food fight ensues.

CUT TO:

After the food fight, all is forgiven and the reception resumes. The camera CLOSES IN on the repaired cake. A sad, now lopsided three-tiered marble affair with splotches of white icing with floor debris stuck to it. The cake is so tilted now, it could take posture advice from the Leaning Tower of Pisa. The little Bridegroom and Bride figurines have been destroyed in the melee, but luckily, someone had some Star Wars toys in their car, so the figurines have been replaced by a little Darth Vader and a Princess Leia missing an arm. The new Husband cuts the cake with his hunting knife. The new Bride punches him in the arm because he has cut the cake without her, and then she shoves his face in the remains of the cake. Another lengthy food fight ensues.

FADE TO BLACK

Alas, I still have about another hour of footage to comb through, but I think I'm going to skip it. Aside from the fact that it will make me nauseous and that it will make me worry about the health of the human gene pool going forward, I don't think I can use any of it. The lens was covered in cake and salmon mousse by then. I think my camera might be ruined. I think, going forward, I might have to do background checks before I take anymore video gigs.

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Finding the Perfect Wedding Videographer

Every couple knows that finding a great photographer is key to capture their special wedding moments. A photographer may not be all that you need to preserve every memory, though, and more and more couples are also choosing to have their wedding videotaped as well. These are some things to keep in mind when searching for the perfect videographer for your wedding.

Just as with a still photographer, you will want to find a videographer whose work you find appealing. You should have a similar artistic point of view with the videographer that you choose. The most popular style of filmwork for weddings these days is the photojournalistic approach. The videographer will attempt to really capture the spirit and vibe of your wedding day, in addition to all of the standard highlights like the first dance and cake cutting.

When you are interviewing videographers for your wedding, there will be many important questions to ask. Start by making sure that they are using the most up-to-date digital equipment. The type of cameras used by professionals have longer memory and are better at using available light than the home models. Your uncle may think that he makes great videos, but the chances are that his equipment will not be up to the task, so hire a professional if the videography is important to you.

The first step in evaluating a videographer is to view the dvds of his previous work. Make sure that you like the flow of the tape, the way that he has used music and captions, and the way that he captured the overall feeling of the event. Sound should be clear, pictures should not be grainy, and camera angles should make the dvd interesting to watch. Speaking of dvds, this is the format that most couples will choose for their finished product.

If you do find a videographer whose style appeals to you, be sure that his or her name is specified on the contract. You would not want to end up with an assistant or a different person from the same company showing up to do the work. Also make sure that the editor will be the same person whose style you liked on the dvds (it is usually the videographer), because the final editing is really what will make the dvd great.

After hiring your videographer, there will be some specific things to discuss. These days, the small size of digital video equipment makes it possible for the videographer to be very discreet and unobtrusive. Be clear about what you want or do not want, whether it is having the videographer come up on the altar to get a better shot of your vows, interviews with the guests, or whatever it may be.

It is also a good idea to make a list for your videographer of all of the important people, moments, and shots that he should film. Many are obvious, such as the cake cutting or the bouquet toss, but some may not be. If you would like for him to get some close ups of the details on your wedding gown and bridal jewelry, for instance, you will need to mention it (an especially nice shot to have if your bridal jewelry was a sentimental gift from your fiance).

Not every bride and groom feel like they need to have a videographer, but those that did have one all say what fun it was to watch the dvd afterwards. Not only will you get a chance to relive the special moments of your wedding, but you are sure to see many things that you did not notice during the event. And just think about how great it will be to show your wedding dvd to your children one day!


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Budget Wedding Videographers - Are They Any Good?

Shopping for budget wedding videographer does not have to be as difficult as you might think. Keep in mind, it is important that you are realistic with your budget. Do not expect to get a great videographer for your entire wedding of 8 hours for a mere $100. However, you can definitely work some magic and likely get your wedding videographer for a little less than what the person is asking.

We have put together a few tips to help you find budget wedding videographer. Some of these can even help you get a videographer that isn't considered "budget" to reduce the price to make them more affordable for you.

1. Scour the internet for coupons. Many videographers (and other wedding vendors) will offer coupons for a discount of anywhere from 5%-20% off of their services.

2. Get written quotes or estimates from their competitors to use as leverage. Let the videographer know you have spoken with other local vendors and the price those vendors are willing to charge you as well as the package details. Often, they will meet or beat the competitions prices.

3. Good ol' fashioned sweet talking. Explain to the vendor what your budget is and try to work on reducing the price.

4. Finagle, offer to pay in full up font if the price to be reduced to a more reasonable figure. Paying up front is always a plus for the vendors and many prefer one lump sum instead of payments.

5. Offer to allow them to use your wedding video as a sample video or part of their portfolio if they reduce the price some. You can also offer to be used as a reference.

6. Rearrange the package you are looking to use by eliminating some things you might not need. Such as, titles, multiple cameras (maybe you only need 2 instead of the 3 that come with the package), you might not need to have the videographer at your rehearsal, you don't want an edited version of your ceremony played during the reception. Be creative with your negotiations.

Budget wedding videographers do not necessarily mean you have to look for an inexperienced or under qualified videographer. Instead, you just need to let your creative juices flow. You never know if you can get something cheaper, unless you ask.

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Chiropractic Adjustment - What is the Crack?

Generally the most fundamental and essential aspect connected with Chiropractic care treatment methods is certainly the spinal adjustment.

Manipulations are usually beneficial in stopping or maybe decreasing the wear and tear that some of our important joints together with ligaments are exposed to every day. Why could that be so? While each of our spine may be in a proper dependable situation, the particular important joints as well as ligaments operate as created with fluid movement. On the other hand, in cases where a joint of the body system is not in a suitable position, which joint will not necessarily work efficiently. Throughout time, this kind of wear and tear brings about something recognised as osteoarthritis.

Presently there tend to be several distinct methods to manipulate the back. Typically, the actual treatments are hands on. In selected circumstances the Chiropractic specialist may well supply a effective, gentle thrust. With various other situations, a slowly, sustained pressure may well end up being utilized to be able to achieve the particular adjusting. There are many diverse variations associated with chiropractic adjusting treatments, some using especially created devices or tables. Be reassured that these particular treatment solution procedures are generally developed to help your current precise health requirements.

Some occasions a cracking or popping experience is observed during an adjusting. This represents air going by the joint surface very quickly. A good analogy might be popping the top away of a can of soda pop. Gas could build up around a joint area like a bubble. Any time the particular realignment will be accomplished this allows the actual gas to possibly be released. While several men and women enjoy experiencing this kind of sound, the sound by itself does not indicate the quality regarding the particular realignment obtained.

Precisely how does a chiropractic doctor determine when, and even more importantly, when NOT to adjust a spinal segment?

Throughout a treatment appointment, visible inspection and palpation are usually the particular indications which are used to ascertain exactly what parts of the spine need to be adjusted. The particular patient's range of motions in the affected areas allows indications of spinal restrictions. Touching and feeling (palpation) associated with the backbone permits the Chiropractic doctor to determine areas of swelling and increased temperature, as well as irregular muscular tone or spasm. In numerous circumstances, the Chiropractic practitioner has had the actual occasion of looking at xrays of your own spinal column prior to carrying out an manipulation. This is important for your proper protection as well as obtaining even more information and facts concerning your health and well-being situation.

In addition to the spine, various other joints of the body can be adjusted as required. Such include the shoulders, elbows, wrists and hands, hips, knees, ankles, feet, jaw, in addition to the head. In quite a few situations, sports-related injuries have an impact on the upper as well as lower extremities. This is an area in which Chiropractic care has experienced exceptional consequences as well.

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Laser Treatments and Its Healing Potential

Just what is laser treatments?

Laser therapy is the application form of reduced quantities of fractionated laser light to areas of the body that have been hurt or weakened. Contrasted with high-powered lasers used in health care that cut tissues, such as medical or hair-removal lasers, therapy lasers produce valuable photochemical and photobiological interactions that may aid minimize soreness and restore injured/damaged muscle.

How do laser treatment operate?

The photons of laser light go through through an individual's pores and skin and are absorbed by specific ingredients in your body's cells called chromophores. Basically as photosynthesis translates into vitality for vegetation, the absorption of the photons by your tissue causes improved development of cellular energy. In regions of pain or damage, this indicates generally there is a lot more energy available to increase the rate and top quality of curing. This is labeled biostimulation.

Mainly because of its biostimulatory nature, fractional laser therapy has the possibilities to aid any situation wherein the body's cellular material are not necessarily working to their the best possible potential. Reports on muscle cultures uncover a extensive selection of advantageous physiological results, this includes greater ranges of endorphins, prostaglandins along with some other beneficial pieces; lowered levels of harmful compounds such as C-reactive proteins and interleukin-1; pain modulation through a wide variety of mechanisms; and greater rate and high quality of muscle healing.

OK, but what does that all mean in English?

For sufferers, that means pain relief from severe and persistent problems, lower irritation and lean muscle spasms, improved range of motion and restored work.

Affected individuals suffering from headaches, neck soreness, carpal tunnel, low back soreness, sports injuries, post-surgical agony and much more have been recently served with laserlight therapy.

Precisely how long really does it have to do the job?

Quite a few sufferers notice progress immediately after the very initial remedy appointment; with many people it can take on a couple of cures. The impact of laser treatment is cumulative, that means that each successive treatment builds on prior ones. The principal advantage to individuals, as documented by laserlight therapy experts across the united states, is that chiropractic care programs that consist of laserlight treatments generate quicker and greater quality scientific outcomes.

What precisely does it feel like to receive a treatment?

With very low-powered therapies laser treatments, anyone experience nothing at all. Higher-powered (Class IV) treatments laser treatment generate a mild, calming, comfortable experience. Everyone may possibly recognize a tingling experience in the remedy location as blood vessels dilate, or that muscle spasms are minimizing in strength and duration. Fractional laser treatment is a pain-free therapy.

Are there almost any side results?

Certain sufferers may encounter soreness in the vicinity of therapy, as toxins are released and blood movement is reconditioned. World authorities on fractionated laser therapy have commented that therapeutic lasers have no unsuitable side results in the hands of a reasonably skilled therapist. Laserlight therapy is risk-free, pain-free and affordable as opposed to alternatives.

Just how do I make for a fractional laser therapy treatment?

Considering laser light does not pass through apparel, laserlight treatments should be delivered specifically to the skin. Wear apparel that can easily expose the therapy area or an individual may possibly want to change into a gown at your own chiropractor's business office.

Just how may I obtain more information?

Ask your doctor! A continuously number of wellness care providers are supplying laser therapy to their patients. If your own doctor does not offer you laserlight therapies and believes it could assist your situation, they will should end up being able to refer you to a physician who will.

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What is Physiotherapy All About?

If you are experiencing a problem that is musculo skeletal then you doctor may recommend that the first thing that you try to cure the problem is to seek out physiotherapy help. If you have ever done this before then you will know what this is all about and what you are going to experience. But if on the other hand this is your first time then you are going to be wondering what exactly is physiotherapy and how does it help me cure my injury?

The more formal name for physiotherapy is physical therapy. This allows most people to get a better understanding of what to expect from this treatment. But of course as with any treatment you are going to want to know more about the procedure before carrying on.

Physiotherapy is a form of healthcare which is designed to cure a number of injuries and illnesses using a number of different methods and movements. A lot of the techniques that are used in this form of therapy are based on a hands on approach where the musculo skeletal system is manipulated to cure the injury.

A physiotherapist is an educator that teaches the patient. What they teach the patient is how to care for the injury in the proper manner. He will teach the patient a variety of different techniques that can be applied by the patient at home so that the treatment is continuously applied to heal the injury at a faster rate. This is a great way to provide continuous healing so that the injured area can be cured effectively.

The last part of physiotherapy involves rehabilitation. This is where the patients who have suffered from injuries related to sports, car accidents, or assault are treated through physical therapy. If the right techniques are used the injuries can be healed very quickly and efficiently. This when done properly can bring the injured area back to original life. This will allow the patient to lead a normal life once more.


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Physiotherapy: Explanation, History, and Specialties

Physiotherapy, or physical therapy, is focused on maximizing quality of life and movement. When function is diminished by age, disease, injury, or the environment, this field can help. Often, physiotherapy helps restore and develop the movements that make life livable for humans. Physical therapists or physiotherapists are the key factor in the healing process. They work with patients, their families, and other professionals to get the best results for the patient. Usually the therapist makes a diagnosis based on the history of an individual and a physical exam. Also, the therapists in this field build up movement through exercises, education, and manual therapy. Lastly, the history of this type of therapy is key in understanding the professionals in it and the therapy itself.

Early physicians, such as Hippocrates, are thought to be the first to use physiotherapy. They used massages and hydrotherapy to treat some of their patients. However, the first documented use of this therapy was by Per Henrik Ling, the man who founded the Royal Central Institute of Gymnastics (or RCIG). The RCIG was aimed at providing massage and exercise above all else. In 1894 a group of nurses founded the Chartered Society of Physiotherapy and in 1913 a school for this therapy was founded in New Zealand. It only continued to spread from there. In the U.S., a specialization for physiotherapy was finally created in 1974 and since has continued to advance and improve. Now a day, there are even multiple specialty areas within this therapy.

Cardiovascular and pulmonary rehabilitation are within a section called Cardiopulmonary. Geriatric physical therapy is the second field, focusing on aging and usually older adults. Neurological physiology targets individuals with neurological disorders, such as Alzheimer's disease. Then there is orthopedic therapy which treats patients with musculoskeletal system injuries. Pediatric therapy almost always focuses on infants, children, and adolescents. The professionals in this section treat a wide variety of issues, including injuries, disorders, and diseases. Finally there is the type of physiotherapy know as integumentary. Physiotherapists in the field solve issues with skin and related organs, such as burns or wounds. While there are some other fields within this type of therapy, these are the six most recognized because together they encompass problems with the entire human body.

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